peperomint:

nail polish on fingernails: 2 days
nail polish on toenails: 200 years. ur ghost will have glittery toes. ur descendants will come out of the womb w/ revlon 791 midnight affair perfectly applied. infinite

hexbird:

specterbilis:

i dont want a boyfriend or girlfriend
i want a faithful dragon companion

teencry:

first day of school: *forgets how to use a pencil*

So you like chemistry puns…

aceinnatailsuit:

captainriz:

imageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimage

HOW HAVE I NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE

IT’S LIKE THE WHO’S ON FIRST OF SCIENCE JOKES

scrlett:

no offense but my favorite hobby is staying hydrated and beautiful 

blameaspartame:

earl’s purchase

nonbinarybillclinton:

this just in: siri is gay

nonbinarybillclinton:

this just in: siri is gay